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Tuesday, August 14, 2012


Seriously I can't even contain my feelings..
It pours smoothly..
But unfortunately..
Not the positive ones..
I just want something..
But it is an impossible item..
A rare one I guess..
I was being too ambitious..
Hoping for something that never really mine..

Such a hypocrite person I am..
Acting strong..
To hide the brittle little thing inside..
Acting tough..
Acting so optimistic..
Giving such advise..
When none of this body can take any of the trash mentioned..

Can't I be a little happy?
Or did I take a wrong turn?
Trying to actually BE happy..
But at the same time..
Walking on a path full of sharp razors..

Sometimes I wonder..
Am I really important to you?
Can't I just be treated the way you treated THEM?
It hurts..
Just to see it..
The differences of the treatment...
It feels like I am a phantom..
Observing from the darkness..
Without you noticing..
It is painful even to think about it..
But hey..
I manage to smile..
Deep inside?
I am trembling..
Trying to kill myself..
From this suffering..
I hate if of course..
But I'm afraid..
Afraid of the answer..
That you will give me..
That is funny..
Until I want to spill my guts..
You guys really should date..
Ignore me please...
I don't mind..
Just kidding...
Not even a hint of happiness came..
The one that go?
Don't even ask about that..
Only God know what I felt..
And still feeling...
Can I cry?
No I can't..
I can't..
When tears turns to blood..
I can't endure the pain..
This loneliness..
Just won't go away..
I did say...
"I'm Okay ^^"
Did I really meant it?
The item that you hold..
It is precious to me..
Don't do this to me..
I can't..
I just can't..
Those words won't come out...
I just don't know where..
Or how..
Or even who..
That I want to share this..
To share this 'happiness'..
I won't..
I won't be a bother anymore..
Especially to others..
Once it happened...
And I hated it since...
The girl...
Disgusts me...
I will remember it..
Stupid memories..
I want to forget all about it..
The past hurts...
I love to watch everyone happy..
Until I realized it..
Why is it that I am this lonely?
I tried to avoid it..
But it came twice as big..
And slapped me hard enough..
To fall..
To crawl..
Without the feeling of wanting to walk again...
Or even stand...
To face others...
Can't I just get a text from you?
"Hey :D"
That is the happiness..
Never a thing that is permanent..
That change..
I forgot..
I only exists when you are lonely..
Did I even exist in your world?
Do you even have the memory of me?
It's funny..
Because I don't think so..
You totally forgotten about me..
That is funny..
I never thought I will be like this..
Forgotten so easily?
Did I even existed to be forgotten?
I came..
And leave..
Without you even noticing..
You are just too busy..
And I was extremely ignored..
I love that word..
It resembles me a lot!
And also anonymous..
Damn I fucking love that word..
I'm nobody..
Just a tree..
To be a shelter..
For a while..
But after that...
Was being chopped down..
Till the root...
So even the existence was vanished..
Till none..
From zero..
Till zero..
Or even lower than that..
I'm lost...
Totally lost...
In my own fantasy..
In the world that I created..
The beauty..
The wonderful texture..
Hunts me..
With the darkness that hid itself..
Such an irony...
A beautiful beauty with a hideous nature..
Such a pain..
Nice cloak you wear...
I was tricked...
Thank you..
I really thank you...
Thank you so much...
I just can't describe it...
Drop dead..

The past is a hunter..
That hunts you..
And the future is a stalker..
Watching the steps that you will make...
While the present?
It's devouring you...
With a smile...

Friday, July 27, 2012

Still Standing Here..Smiling

It Hurts!!!

It hurts so much that I just cannot stop smiling..It was a horrible feeling,but at the same time,it was a blessing..
A Blessing???

A blessing..It helps to keep me strong..It helps me to bypass the hurdles that are ahead of me..

Still Standing Here..Smiling..

Even though it hurts..It healed most of the part where my heart was damaged..So it's okay..I'll bear for it..

For now

Twitter crash?It's okay,still hv blog //ming

A very goooooodddd evening to all~~

How long has it been eh? This blog has been left untouched since then ehehehhe.. Sorry, but no new stories that wanted to be told :)

I wanted to wish you all HAPPY FASTING IN RAMADHAN!It is a little bit late as we already reached the fifth day of fasting,but hey,at least i wished :3 That's all matters right?


I don't know why, but it seems that I cannot log in my twitter..LOG IN??I can't even open the website mannn!!!So instead of updating my status in FB,I think it is better for me to update my blog..Since I 'LLLOOOOVVVEEEEE' writing..and talking nonsense..

Supposed to be!!

I supposed to write something in my journal(that was given by Mdm Tan) but hey,procrastination awaits!


Jiji was planning to create a blog..With 4 different authors and me myself as one of them..It surely took my interest in it..But it is still in planning..I don't wanna expect much from it..But if it really happens,no harm done right? ;D


I am so sorry for ignoring you dear ;( I don't want to disturb you because you seems like you are too busy..I am so sorry again dear D;

In a Nutshell?!


p/s : Aiman Azlan is going to come to maktab this Sunday!Yeay!!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

It's Just Me Again

God..How long has it been since I updated this blog?Ahahaha :D Sorry though..I don't really blog anymore as I don't really have a thing to tell you guys :) Also I'm just too lazy to update lllorz

Semester 2 has already passed and time flies quickly back then :) Until all of us realized, we grew older and older...The result for the Mock Exam has been released and seriously, I really need to improvise..Quickly and efficiently...

We face different problems each and every time.. During sem1 with a problem, sem2 with a new problem, and sem3 with a newer problem than the new problem..Problem = Mistakes? Don't make the same mistake over and over again though :) Learn from the last time you got hurt.. It will help you in the future ;)

That moment when the thing that you kept in a box chained with the most invincible chain, actually have a fatal flaw.. It actually hurts when  someone opened it.. If that person have guts to keep it, then be it.. At least it won't hurt if that person take a good care of it properly... Please.. I'm in your care ;)

There's no time for hesitation now.. The hands that you hold can be the hands that will stab you, and vice versa... Things are not going to be simple and easygoing from now on.. Watch your step and never take the wrong route.. You will regret it sooner or later...

Too many topics eh? Different para with different topics that were raised.. Hey, it is just me right ;)

Saturday, February 11, 2012



Which one is supposed to be on top?

The results?
It depends..
Maybe some love if the action is the first step..
And maybe some love when question is earliest one to be done..

To me?
I heart it if the question is at the top :)
Why you ask?
Simple :)

I really love to question myself before doing any action..
Walking to the cafe..
Hearing my mp3..
Loving someone..
And even asking the question 'why did i asked the question?'

I always question everything..
On certain time I will get the answer..
And sometimes I don't..
Not even that, at times I don't even know what am I asking..

Weird isn't it?
You are not even sure what is it that you asked..
I am that kind of person..

And it made me think of the consequences that I will face if  I do that action..
I'll just take the quote
"Think Before You Act"

Everything that you do will have effects on your life..
Neither positive nor negative..

Question yourself..
And act :D

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


They come..
And they leave..
This is a norm in human life :)
Not only to human of course..

Having someone that we loved left us..
It is a pain like we never had felt before..
Especially when they were the one who always spent their time with us..



And even played together..

But eventually..
Their time with us were short..
And when they're gone..
You actually thought that they disappeared..

But did they really disappeared?

Actually my dear :)
They are still living :)

Living inside of our hearts :)

If you still remembers them..
Still praying for their safety at the other side..
Then it means that they live inside of your heart :)
So why are you being so depressed about?

Furthermore, they do not want to see their beloved ones (it means u of course) to be sad because of them right?
Your loved ones are watching you from the other side :)

Be happy my dear..
Things will eventually become better with the help of time..

And of course with your smile :)

Sit back and enjoy the day :)
And pray for them :D

Friday, February 3, 2012


When the door starts creaking..
She peeps..
And tries to look inside..
Tempted by curiosity..
Just to know what is inside the room..

As she opens it..
An unpleasant feeling were felt..

Seeing a boy sitting there..
She wonders..
As their eyes meet..
The boy smiles..
Trembles with fear..

Seeing his hand tries to reach her..
She hesitates..
As looking the content that is in his hand..
She turns and run away..
Closing back the door..


The first and the final word that she hears..


Monday, January 30, 2012


Ya Allah..
I'm so sorry u guys 4 not updating my blog..
Just that I don't really have the time to do so..
I really wanna update it though..
And I have a lot of stories to tell ya..
But time is trying to kill me right now..
I'm so sorry..
If I have the time to update,then i'll do my best for my readers :)
Thank you to my new followers :D
 So sorry because cant really see ur blogs..
Don't worry..
I'll do so :)
Have a good night sleep :D

A pic of me n Aizat having our dinner..At last!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012


I cnt..
I cnt do it..
I'm killing myself with this stupid thing..
I lose my smile because of it..
I even lost my respect towards u..
I wan to end this..
So that my nut wont loose..
And my day will be much more brighter..
Not to mention this time a big wave will come..
Even though it's just a drill..
But it really means a lot to me..
I cnt remember anything..
What I love..
What I like..
And what I hate..
All of this is starting to rot inside me..
This hatred..
Even Lil Franky will die because of it..
Not to mention about his sanity of course..
He is insane..
But things like this..
He cnt even handle a bit..
I hate it..
I'm a living dead nw..
Never thought of anything that is more worse than this..
Levelling up?
It's already my limit..
I quit..

This is not a poem

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Beginning Of Sem 2 PP


It's been a while since I updated this blog..


Too many websites were there for me to waste my energy in to..

Sem 2 is already starting..

And all of us r busy like traffic jam..

Only little steps were taken to move forward because of that tight timetable..

Not to mention the drama that all of us need to do..

Dun let me start please lllorz

And I was like..

"What?We have work?Really?"

Those works..

I..Cant stand it..

It's like we're slaughtering ourselves here using a blunt knife..

Not to mention that it is painful..

But it also promises slow death too..

Being given with this sort of things..

I dun think I can manage my brain nerves to start snapping..

Even me myself have my own limit in doing something that is extremely superb..

But at least I'm not the KK for this sem..

That is my favourite news for this sem..

But its a pity because we have to change our Tutor because of some technical difficulties..

Who cares..

People come and go..

So u just have to be prepared with this sort of things..

And sometimes I was too despised with this thing till I became too lazy n just wanna forget those things for a while..

And have a good nap..

Plus,I'm starting to hate my surroundings..

Things are getting much more tougher(not to include maktab)

And my heart wont stop thinking bout something..

But I dun care..

Life still must go on..

I dun really think u guys are going to read this post in detail :3

Maybe the only thing that u r reading is the opening..

And this :3


Welcome new year..

And hello problems..

It feels like my insane mode is turned on (⊙▂⊙✖ )